Steel City=Bandwagon City

As the Penguins slowly slip down the playoff ladder, the identities and characters of many "fans" truly start to show. The fans that I am referring to are Bandwagon Fans or to make it less insulting, Fair-weather Fans, or to make it even less offensive, rich teenage girls whose "daddy's" make enough money to put their little skin flute experts in the front row of Mellon Arena to see their so-called future husbands play hockey, a sport they know not much about. These types of fans have only been actively supporting the team since their gradual incline up the Eastern Conference standings since the coming of superstar Sidney Crosby.

The problem with fair-weather fans other than their constant annoyance to truly dedicated die-hard Pens fans who still saved up to catch a game at the Igloo during the 2001-2002 shit show year, is that they bring a fake and negative aspect to being a fan, and to the city of Pittsburgh. It is disturbing to watch guys and girls send text messages during the games in their front row seats when true fans decked out in all their vintage Penguin gear are sitting in limited view. It is even worse to when bandwagon fans leave their seats for an early exit either when the pens are up by a large margin (am I dreaming still?) or getting plowed like your mom on prom night. If you love the pens like you say you do then why not be a fan and stick with them through thick and thin, from beginning to end. I must concede that watching the pens play over the past few months has been painful. At some points I'd rather watch my nails grow, but win or lose, the hope still resides inside and the dreams of bringing Lord Stanley back to Pittsburgh still linger in my mind.

The fake part that these fans bring to the game is not only their dedication but their tradition and knowledge of the Penguins or even the game of hockey itself. Take a poll of girls and ask, How many Stanley Cups have the Penguins won in their franchise history? a fairly easy question you would think. 7 out of 10 girls would be unsure or completely oblivious to the answer. Ask them Jordan Staal's favorite place to shop and they might even be able to name his bra size. Wait, I meant his pant size.

All in all, I think the majority of pens fans are dedicated, down to the wire, all or nothing fans, but for those pretenders that try to fit in to be apart of something great, stop trying. Many fans have waited 16 now going on 17 years for the Stanley Cup parade whereas these band wagon fans have waited out those years but haven't gone through the pain and suffering of sub-par seasons plagued with injuries and inadequate coaching. Whether the Pens reach that goal of raising the cup in my lifetime or not, I will know that I have stood beside them through it all giving my full support.

Missing Piece: Jaromir Jagr

Jaromir Jagr, the man, the myth, the mullet. Oh no, wait that is Barry Melrose. I wouldn't disagree with anyone who said that Jagr was rocking a mullet in this picture but I think this hair style deserves more credit. For any young man daring enough to sport this luscious flow of brown hair, we will call this the Jagr, to keep things simple.

Boy do I miss this hair soaring in the wind as Jagr breezed past defenders on his way to two Stanley Cup rings and eight All-Star game appearances. Well it is time for the Pens to bring back this scoring machine or as some may refer to him, Mario Jr., not only because he played apprentice to Mario but also because Jaromir can be turned into Mario Jr. Although Jagr lacks the speed from his prime, he hasn't lost a step in point production and overall hockey capability. Ten years after his NHL debut, Jagr found himself as a Hart Trophy finalist with 123 points in 82 games.

What brings the suggestion of Jagr skating in the Penguin sweater for just one more season is Jagr himself who was heard saying, "I was thinking about it and if Mario would call me and say, "I'd like you to play for our team, I would think about it a lot. I would play for minimum salary. I would play for $350,000 just for him because I owe him my hockey life. I want to pay him back because he has made me what I am...besides my parents." Whether Jagr was serious or not, it raised Pens' fans hopes for a positive turnaround for the young squad.

In addition to point production, Jagr would bring a bunch of other key attributes to brighten the Penguins' dismal performance thus far. Not only can Jags (yags as I like to call him) bring enough hardware to give to every season ticket holder, but he can bring veteran leadership, excellent vision, adequate goal scoring, and would be another threat on a very skilled power play unit.

Another bright side about Jagr's return would be that the fans wouldn't have to spend 1/4 of the game (every time Jagr touches the puck) "booing" him like the fat girl at a talent show.

Please Mario Jr., be true to your word because if you aren't, Ray Shero has spent more money than a drunk man at the strip club. So needless to say, the funds are limited. 

As the All-Star break quickly approaches, many fans will purchase their All-Star game gear, grab their tickets, and head to Montreal for a once in a lifetime weekend experience. For those not as fortunate to be heading north for the festivities, their All-Star experience will consist of watching the best talent in the NHL display their skills as they compete against each other in the Bell Centre on January 25, 2009.

The only issue I find with the All-Star game in general is that it may not exactly be the "best talent in the NHL" at the time because hometown fans and texting whores can send their votes every ten seconds in order to secure their favorite player a spot in the game. Granted, every player chosen for the event is an accomplished, distinguished, and elite player among the many high caliber players in the NHL, but for a few players, their ticket to the game is truly fan-based and nothing more. Yeah, it should be this way because it is the fans' chance to get involved and make a difference in the NHL, but for the more deserving guys who have an outstanding first half and are not recognized through this event, it is wrong.

For instance, a guy like Keith Tkachuk, an established veteran in the NHL who is having an average at best season with meager 27 points through 39 games, earns a spot over players such as Daniel Sedin and Henrik Zetterberg. Sedin is on pace for a career high 84 points and would be a solid representation of not only Vancouver's talent but the Western Conference's as well. Also, all four Montreal players chosen for the game are having stellar seasons as well minus Kovalev and Komisarek. Both are talented players but are undeserving of this honor compared to the other players who will not be on the roster. Should the game be in a different location, would these players even be considered? Kovalev, maybe. Komisarek, I doubt it.

Oh well, life isn't fair so I guess All-Star game voting can follow properly in style but there should be some sort of criteria a player must meet in order to be placed on the roster after the popularity portion of the selection process is over. I mean come on. Komisarek with 3 points? He might be talented and playing solid defense but isn't the game about scoring and skills? At least that is what it used to be.

Anyways, with scoring as potent as Peter North's 10 ropers, the East should easily come out on top in this contest. If not, it will be due to the shut down talented defenseman who are suited up on the West side of things. Either way, this All-Star game will be equally enjoyable as the previous ones with the addition of its great location, Montreal: a hockey rich community with a strong hockey tradition.

Look unfamiliar? If so, it's probably because Talbot's scoring has been scarcer than food in Darfur. Last night in Nashville, "Mad Max" put the biscuit in the basket in a hope to put the Predators away while snapping his 25 game scoreless streak.

Staal Resigns: Pens' fans cry

After hearing the depressing news this morning for many "true" Penguins hockey fans, they must have thought it could not get much worse. In case it is not known, Jordan Staal signed a 4 year extension totaling $16 million, but what makes it much worse is that Staal will be playing left wing alongside Sidney Crosby on the top line tonight in Nashville as Therrien has announced this morning.

Now I could pick apart Staal for hours and describe in many ways why he was not worth $4 million a year or even an extension in general but the ignorant and brainless band-wagon fans also known as women might be offended so I will only expose a few flaws regarding Jordan Staal in general.

The salary the Pens have now agreed to, will be in effect in the upcoming 2009-2010 season making Jordan Staal earning only $500,000 less than his superior brother Eric who should I mention has won a Stanley Cup, made 2 All-Star games (this year being his 3rd), and won the All-Star MVP in 2007, all while averaging a consistent 1.02 points per game over his past 3 NHL seasons. Their accomplishments and contributions to their respective teams are not even comparable. Yeah, Jordan is the youngest this, the youngest that, but only in the most insignificant categories such as the youngest player to play in 200 NHL games, but if this young talent of the Penguin future is a true 2nd overall pick, then why is he only capable of putting up a whopping 12 goals in a season in 2007-2008.

I am aware that it is not always and only about points, but when the Pens scoring is lower than a teenage fat girl's self-esteem, it starts to become more about points and less about anything else. What else can Staal contribute to the team besides his sloppy skating stride if he is not putting up points? There are other NHL centers drafted after Staal in 2006 such as Jonathan Toews and Nicklas Backstrom who are on pace or have already outdone Staal in points and overall accomplishments.

I thought Ray Shero was drunk in Cancun celebrating such a successful 2007-2008 season and playoff run after his sub-par off-season activity this past summer, but I want to know how much of Malkin's vodka he drank before he agreed to sign Staal for another four years.

Either way, Lets Go Pens!